"Sierra
Tucson." The Cadillac of rehab. Set in the cactus-filled Arizona desert.
Part Best Western, part college campus, part hospital. Checking in, you check
out of the world. No newspaper. No radio. No TV. The only distraction allowed
is a plethora of self-help and twelve-steps books.
My depression had been triggered by 9/11 and
had been spiraling downward ever since. A midlife crisis with no light at
the end of the tunnel. Conversations were a painful struggle because I couldnt
remember what was just said. Reading was futile because I couldnt remember
the previous paragraph. Lying down or sitting up involved many decisions.
And all day long I looked forward to my sleeping pills -- only now, I was
taking more and sleeping less. So there I was, in a plane, above Dallas, flying
in for the connecting flight to Tucson. Sierra Tucson.
Below me, as far as the eye could see, sprawled
the American suburbia. Since my childhood I have been thrilled and fascinated
by the relentless growth of cities. I take a twisted and guilty pleasure watching
the subdivisions march on, their geometric patterns gobbling up the countryside.
Only this time it frightened me. Everything frightened me. Things I would
have previously laughed-off now struck a chord of terror. Things like the
full-sized billboard that came into sight several hours later at the clinics
gate, commanding me to "EXPECT A MIRACLE."
I was trapped. In Gods country.
Then strip-searched.
I then had my books confiscated . . . along
with most of my toiletries (razor blades and nail files for the suicide-prone;
lotions and perfumes for alcoholics). And all the while, everybody was still
so excruciatingly nice. So feely, so touchy.
What could I do but clam up?
For I had lost all social skills. Me, the table-hopping,
hostess extraordinaire. Me, the verbal provocateur. But at my
first meal, I couldnt muster more than the most cursory response to
any question.
That same evening came my very first "Clap-out."
The "Clap-out" is a ritual ceremony for graduating patients. In
an outdoor amphitheater, the departing inmate makes a farewell speech, and,
then, in a cleansing metaphor, throws stones -- i.e., all weighty addictions
-- into a pit. The big finish? Together, everyone howls at the moon. Only
I wasnt howling along. I was making my plan. Even if I did survive my
thirty-day treatment, there would be an emergency call on the twenty-ninth
(A kitchen fight at my restaurant? A family crisis?). Whatever was necessary
for a hasty exit.
After a few days, as I was still cringing my
way through "Spirituality Group," the man next to me suddenly turned
and whispered a surprisingly cynical comment . . . in French. I cracked up.
How many days had it been since I even smiled? This fellow atheist - a criminal
lawyer from LA - became my guru on navigating through all the God-crap and
getting on with the program.
I quietly held myself together for a couple
more days.
However, I was not to remain the weak-and-silent type for long, because my
deadline to speak was fast approaching. In "Trauma Group."
My presentation was to be removed, reserved.
Just the dry facts on my emotionally reckless life . . . until I was undermined
by a mother from Alabama who told the story of her son and husband who had
both killed themselves. I am very fond of Southern women. There is an elegant
melancholy in their drawl that I find irresistible. Her sadness had somehow
brought light into the darkest corners of my mind. My story came gushing out.
Tears, facts, fears. So I found my rehab mother. From then on, she gave me
her bosom to cry on. And before long, I found kindred spirits in all the women
from the South.
Before I knew it, I had befriended all the women
from the North, East and West, as well. I started talking about my life other
than the depression. And soon I was getting into political arguments with
the men. I was gaining ground.
Until my new roommate showed-up. A big
loud
swearing
macho
jock
guy.
He seemed quite put off by me, too.
When fate put us in the same "Primary Group"
and he learned that I was gay and HIV positive, his homophobia and fear of
AIDS came spilling out. No way was I going to sleep with this obnoxious homophobe
in the next bed.
I marched straight to my Primary Therapist --
demanding to be moved to another room at once. To my utter shock, I was told
that we both had to "Deal with it! Thats why its called therapy."
I tried the cry and drama thing, but to no avail. There was nothing I could
do short of leaving altogether. I wasnt ready to throw in the towel
yet. And certainly not for this creep.
Later that day, as my anger grew by the minute,
I was looking forward to a meeting -- any meeting -- to let off steam. I found
an "Addiction Group" -- the last group of the day -- and stormed
in, primed for compassion. But only one other person had shown up. My roommate.
What to do? Walk out? Attack? Play dead? And
to his credit, he said, "Why dont we use this hour for you to explain
to me what I dont understand about you?"
Suddenly, I found myself at the black board
-- drawing graphs about the risks of AIDS, giving a lecture on growing up
gay in a homophobic culture. By the end of the hour, we both reached out and
shook hands. No anger. No fear.
From then on, it all went very fast. Every day
I grew more confident. I was moving on with the treatment, editing out the
metaphysical gobbledy-gook, and choosing what was relevant to me. When I called
home for more Restaurant Florent postcards to give out, they knew I was on
the mend: I had started to work the crowd.
The next thing I knew it was my twenty-ninth
day - "Clap-out Eve" - and I had not escaped. Instead, I had a new
plan.
I chose to be introduced by my roommate. He
told how two weeks before he had never known a homosexual, then met one, had
never heard the word "homophobe," and then learned he was one. Everybody
cracked up. A few had tears in their eyes. A total soap.
So there I was, leading the pack as we howled
at the moon.
The next morning, as the cab drove me back toward
the gate, I saw the back of that billboard. It said, "YOU ARE A MIRACLE."
I didnt cringe. I had come to enjoy the touching . . . and the feeling.
I had won a few battles with my demons. And as the plane was landing in Dallas,
I was entranced by the suburban sprawl below.
FLORENT MORELLET is co-chair of Save the Gansevoort Market and president of Compassion in Dying NY. He is a mapmaker, drag queen, and the unofficial mayor of the Meat Market. The restaurant that bears his name has been a New York institution for a little over seventeen years.