From "No Safe Word: a Psychodrama in III Acts, 2 Numbers and a Nightmare"

SCENE: Hospital room. Flowers and balloons. A bright banner reads, "CONGRATULATIONS! IT’S A …" JANET, in bed, stares off into space, her untouched food tray pushed to one side. TONY sits by her bedside, holding her hand.
GINGER, dressed as a nurse, crosses the stage with a sign that reads, "1958, if you will, Hollywood." She exits.

TONY

Would you like to take a shower, Janet?

JANET

At a time like this?! Tony!

TONY

Not together. I was suggesting that maybe you might want to get yourself cleaned up and presentable. There’s reporters outside and . . .

JANET

This is a nightmare! How could you think I would even greet those reporters?!

TONY

Do I have to remind you what we do for a living and who we depend on?

JANET

It’s "upon WHOM we depend" and I can’t believe after all that money you still end sentences with prepositions.

TONY

Okay . . . Do I have to remind you what we do for a living and upon whom we depend, bitch?

(JANET gasps. The DOCTOR enters, followed by GINGER.)

DOCTOR

Good morning!

TONY

Hello, Doctor.

DOCTOR

How are you feeling this morning, Janet?

JANET

Fine, Bill. Fine . . .

DOCTOR

Good, good. This is my mistress, Nurse Ginger. We’ve just had a quickie in the broom closet and I’ve asked her to join me. She knows quite a bit about intersexuality and the most current gender research, so I thought—

TONY

We really don’t --!

GINGER

Mr. Curtis, trust. Your secret is safe with us.

DOCTOR

We’re professionals. Now, have you discussed . . . what we spoke about?
(TONY begins to cry.)

JANET

Yes.

DOCTOR

I understand that this has all been difficult for the two of you . . . and strange. This is only the second hermaphrodite I’ve birthed in my forty years.

TONY

Please don’t use that word, Doctor.

DOCTOR

Which? Hermaphro—?

TONY

Yes.

DOCTOR

Sorry, Tony.

JANET

Is the press aware of any of this?

TONY

No, dear.

DOCTOR

No, Janet. They’ve been told that there’s been a complication. That’s all they know. That’s all we’ll give them. An emergency hernia operation, something.

JANET

Thank you, Bill

TONY

Thanks, Doctor.

DOCTOR

Of course, they’re curious. They want to know what sex the baby is.

GINGER

You mean "gender" don’t you, Doctor? What "gender" the baby is?

DOCTOR

Yes, I suppose.

GINGER

(To JANET:) They’ve actually been quite persistent. Funny, isn’t it? How much emphasis we place on the gender of newborns. It’s not enough for the public, for your fans, to know that you’ve had the baby and that you and the baby are safe and relatively sound. They have to know if it’s a boy or a girl. How long will this society perceive gender in such a narrow way? Gender, after all, is simply a socially constructed myth upheld for the sole reason of keeping what we call the male of our species in total control. It’s all about domination and control. I know that you and the good doctor here have discussed raising your child as a girl. May I ask you something, Janet? May I call you Janet? You know, I’m a big fan of your movies. Both of you. Anyway, would you consider raising your child as a child and not as a boy or a girl? It’s unusual, I know, but I think you should let the child decide naturally for her- or himself when the time comes.

TONY

Now, wait a second—

GINGER

There are no causal links between gender identity and the physical appearance of one’s genitals, you know.

DOCTOR

Isn’t she something? She’s quite right. At this point, research indicates that prenatal hormones and even environment have more of an effect on gender role than gonads, internal reproductive organs, or genitals.

GINGER

Later on down the line you can bring the child for genital surgery, if needed. That is once the child has decided which to pursue—the penis or the pussy, so to speak.

JANET

My God!!

DOCTOR

Of course, as we discussed, we could assign a gender now and perform the the proper surgery straight away. The surgery is minimal.

TONY

It doesn’t sound minimal.

DOCTOR

A snip here, a stitch there, as simple as a hernia operation.

TONY

Suppose we make the wrong decision? What then? I don’t want my child to be a freak.

GINGER

Too late now . . .

JANET

Tony!

TONY

I’m sorry, but dammit, Janet! There’s enough deviants in Hollywood. I don’t want my . . . whatever to be one of them! How can you be so sure of what you’re saying?

GINGER

There is research. Not a lot. It’s only 1958. But, three years ago, in the Bulletin of the John Hopkins’ Hospital, number 97, pages 301 to 319, in an article entitled: "An examination of some basic sexual concepts: The evidence of human hermaphroditism," researchers, Money, Hampson and Hampson, studied pairs of hermaphrodites who were similar in gender chromosomes and genital equipment. One pair was assigned at birth and raised as male. The other, female. The children seemed to develop the gender identity and role assigned at birth. Those raised as boys became what we consider men; those raised as girls, women . . . Now considering what we in this society consider what it is to be a man or a woman, that’s a whole ‘nother ball of wax.

TONY

Are you saying there’s a kind of psychosexual neutrality at birth?

DOCTOR and GINGER

Exactly.

TONY

I don’t understand.

JANET

So, we might as well flip a coin.

DOCTOR

Well, it’s not that simple. As I’ve said before, in my opinion, your child seems to be leaning more favorably toward a feminine gender.
(GINGER clears her throat.)
Or, you could let the baby choose later.

JANET

That’s not the kind of thing a child should have to choose. We were chosen already. I was chosen by some higher power to be a woman. You were chosen to be a man. I can’t imagine it being one’s choice. I think in this situation it’s up to us to choose. We must . . . because we must be able to address those reporters outside. My child is not going to be an oddity.

DOCTOR

I understand.

GINGER

You know, in some cultures, the birth of a herma—sorry, intersexual child is seen as an omen of fortune and prosperity. In some Native American societies, they were treated like royalty, as a "third sex," and as healers, or storytellers, marriage counselors, even deities. Sometimes they were even considered normal and passed freely and openly through society. Then, of course, in some cultures, intersexual children are seen as precursors to plague and famine, and they’re subsequently stoned to death.
(JANET weeps.)

TONY

We’re going to need more time.

JANET

No, no. You’ve suggested the child would be better off as a girl. (To TONY:) A girl is fine with you?

TONY

A girl is fine . . .

JANET

We’ll take your initial advice.

DOCTOR

Very well.

TONY

Are you sure, honey?

JANET

Yes, dear.

GINGER

Well, you’ve made your choice. I hope it doesn’t haunt you for the rest of your lives.

(DOCTOR and GINGER leave. JANET weeps. TONY holds her hand and buries his face in her chest. After a few moments, the DOCTOR returns with a screaming baby covered in blood. GINGER follows with an enormous knife, covered in blood. JANET and TONY scream.
BLACKOUT.)

TOM EUBANKS stopped writing plays because he found actors too depressing. Then, he stopped writing books because publishers found him too depressing. But none of this really matters, because he lives in married bliss in the greatest city in the world.